.Tuesday, March 10, 2009 ' 1:31 AM Y
waiting for that my "last order"...
dear diary...i lose someone important to me yesterday... at least thats how i feel... maybe i just lose her temporary... maybe permanently... i dont know... the outcome of the wild wild wet isnt what i expected... the outcome of the quarrel isnt what i expected... conclusion: i just want to spend my time with her... make her happy... see her like before... but... yes... maybe we are just too different... maybe things between us just arent working out... maybe maybe maybe... i know theres too many reason behind it... despite our difference... despite we are from the same gender... despite this and that... i still love her... cant bear to let her go... could be im stubborn... i dont know... i just dont want to lose her... cause i know if i ever lose her... i dont know what my life will be... maybe really jumped off like yesterday... maybe end my life on bed... i really cant imagine... the whole of yesterday... i had a difficulty spending my time and sleep... i cant take my mind of her... be it having dinner... be it walking alone... be it listening to mp3 or just bring disney for a walk at the stairs up and down... etc... everything i do i will thinking of her... checking my handphone every now and then... but disappointment is what i get... nothing appear... nothing at all... maybe she already let go of me... maybe we both really need the time off... maybe i dont know... i just cant think of any... i spend my whole day and night thinking... figuring... working things out... thoughts after thoughts keep running over and over my mind... i never feel this terrible before... maybe yes with von... but no... this time its worst than before... ... ...
