.Friday, July 3, 2009 ' 1:21 PM Y
waiting for that my "last order"...
alright didnt went fyp and play yesterday cause both was last mins cancel... -.-''' which is good lah... haha... cause spend time online with friends... =p went work early... and work was fun!!! especially at the quarantieen area... all crazy like mad... lols... which is good lah cause like that time can pass faster... kena coaching yesterday... jitao sian... -.- but at least i know where i went wrong and how can i give a better service... and... =/ yesterday all the things that ruzita said to me... somehow somewhere someone said it to me... maybe this is just me... =( should i change or should not? =/ really got to think what i want le...
anyway suppose to spend time with apple dear dear today... go interview and things like that... but then wake up le half gone... =/ couldnt really sleep plus eyes are like so sore... =( maybe meet her later or at night bah... =( feel so bad lor... couldnt spend much time with her... hai... and make her feel that im not a good mate... perhaps its true bah... right now i have no more energy to love anyone... especially now when im trying to move on without
her but at the same time i still love
her... tonight work again... sian... and today morning made ntu de dear dear angry i think... i also dont know about what... -.-''' hai~ hopefully later when got chance to talk to her again can make her forgive me bah... =/
to
you:
if your purpose of coming to my blog to read is to find fault to quarrel with me like yesterday... i really dont want you to read lor... cause i really dont see the point of you coming also... from the beginning you already feel that its right to leave then be it... dont need to say things like oh because i cant keep my promises to you or because i force you to... if you have the heart to leave then do it... like how you stop contacting me...
seriously i already thought and put my heart of not contacting you like what you want it to be... and everytime when i do that... first was the very first time i dont contact you at all after that saturday night we spend together... you sms me ask me hows my life and etc... and second is now when i totally have no news or anything of you after that day you tell me that you are dating with him... you came to my blog to tag...
so... what is it that you want?! still thinking that i will keep all my promises to you when you left for another guy?! or like you say i forced you to leave... but before you said this... have you ever think that so what if i force you to leave? you can choose not to be with him... IF you really love me... you wouldnt leave even if i forced you to... which i doubt so now too like how you keep believing that im treating you as a replacement of von... if you want to talk about this topic... then i can always say that ya im also another replacement of kel when he is in ns what... you are treating me like a replacement too... but i didnt! cause i know you loved me...
serious... you also feel that no point keeping your promise to me cause i broke my and so on... so since now you have left... why should i keep those meaningful promises? to make myself suffer? or to prove to others that you have the charm? i know that keeping my promises might show how much you mean to me... but sad to say now... you mean nothing much to me anymore when you left... just like the ring that we had... at first maybe yes i still want it back because i thought theres still something that i can do... but no... not anymore since yesterday... i dont see the point of holding or keeping any memories or any single bit of love...
lastly... if you leave then dont come back anymore... and if can dont claim that i mean something to you too... cause it doesnt serve its purpose or mean anything now anymore... as you cant prove it to me too... i know what im doing and what i should be doing... whether is it part of keeping my promises or whatsoever... dont ever question me if you are leaving or since you have left like you proclaim... or accuse me for whatever unreasonable reason or what you have...
p.s: hope can sleep well and no more dreaming of
you... -.-
last p.s: finally the feeling of moving on... the air i breathe arent as heavy as before...
