.Friday, July 24, 2009 ' 11:01 AM Y
waiting for that my "last order"...
the tears that flow flow non-stop... just like the rain last night pouring... my heart ache like millions of knife stabbing... and no more air to breathe... yesterday went out with kor kor and his friend... went lot one play arcade... but i cant really enjoy... just cry and waste the money... but i must thanks them... for trying to cheer me up... meet mummy awhile... pass her her thing... after that
she sms me say can meet le... =/ pang seh mummy to meet
her... sorry mummy...
waited a while... sitting down there i couldnt help but to think back of the past and cried... i have the urge to ask
her back with me... got the urge to hold
her hand tight and tell
her i have changed... and i will cherish
her this time... but... its really late now... only can keep inside without letting
her know... sit there for an hour or so... i tried not to cry infront of
her... i know
she is happier now... that will do... even though i have to go through all this pain... doesnt matter... i know someday
she will see all the changes i done for
her...
went back lot one find kor kor and his friends again... immediately reach there i cried again... hai... after that they entertain me again... =/ around 10 plus went 302... play cards... talk crap... until 1130 then we leave... realise there is no more last train for me... -.- took train till jurong... talk with kor kor... after that cab from there... on the way back still on the phone with
her... just miss
her voice a lot... =(
reach home the first thing i do was cry... and cry non-stop... i dont know why... i just feel very pain... hai... and the many regrets... all the too late... i never felt so lost... even disney have to console me... =( even though cry a lot... but i couldnt sleep... whole night just keep crying... and make a few harsh decision thats to cut off contact with certain people... even its late... i know its worth doing... and i should have done so long time ago... shouldnt even be so soft hearted... hai... i only hope as time goes by
she will see all the things i done for
her...
i dont know since when i fall a sleep... until 10 like that uncle start scolding... -.- then i woke up... but i guess its just a less than 4 hour sleep... =( wake up nia... start crying again... then jie talk to me... val talk to me as usual... -.- sms
her found out that
she couldnt sleep also... hai... hope
she will really take care of herself...
going to find somethings to do... later rest awhile then work again... =(
to
you:
remember what you promise me... you must keep it ok? whatever i promise you... i still remember... and slowly fulfilling everything... and will keep it until the day you back to my side... i know its late... i understand... but i wouldnt give up cause i really love you... even if... you no longer my... =/
but i will wait... no matter how long it will take... just want you to stay this happy... this happy that i cant give you yet... =/ i will learn to take care of myself le... dont worry about me... i will be fine... =)
p.s: disney will wait for you with me... ^^
