despite dreading meeting up with eneida on sunday... i still went after all... would that be the last meet up? i wish it is... and i wish every time we meet up its always treating it as the last time... cause treating it the last time there wouldnt be quarrel... and ya its always sweet... i remember vividly that i always treat every date i have with her as the last time too... and that was when i know she begin to have feeling for vincent... even that night at the hotel... i know that things would change...

i know the heart beat doesnt race as fast as before... not say dont have but just not as fast as before... maybe because im tired after trying for so hard... and definately not because of miki... maybe i have moved on somehow... that could be the reason why... maybe i no longer love her as much... i... seriously dont know... why the changes... changes that i can treat her not as much love as before...

i know i will wait... i know i still want her back... but... as time goes by i know even more clearer that she will never return... i begin to give up bit by bit somehow... maybe cause im selfish... i dont want to go through that darkness again...

i never feel before that loving someone can be so heartaching so tiring and so silly... never for once until i found eneida... i realise how much i can give up for her... how much im willing to do... but perhaps she is not the one... i hate... i really hate myself... hate things to be like this... yes i do hate eneida... but not a lot of hatre though just that little... and i really really hate fate and destiny... but at the end of the day the one to hate is still me... how irony...

anyway work still the same... but seriously fuck you ruzita... fuck you... and fuck the job/people that is so demoralizing... but too bad... the more you want to fuck me upside down the more i will prove to you... prehaps im beginning to be as evil as celine jie... yes with all the demon being unleach out of me... you shall wait and see...

i hope tomorrow's play will be enjoying... lols... and not drunk? =/ although i wish to be drunk so that i can dont think so much for the time being...

p.s: with you... i feel so hurt... so confusing... but again i still love you...
2p.s: the bo chap attitude... its out again... i hate... the fucking me...
last p.s: dreams are killing me... -.- stop miki stop... :x stop eneida stop... =/

xiaobee/alfred
25/11/88
single

bicycle
cameron highland trip
cigarette case
class 3 licence
digital camera/DSLR
diploma in biotechnology
genting trip
home & room of my own
hongkong trip
improve drinking
more bottom
more ear stud
more money
more shoes
more time
more tongue stud
more top
nds
new bag
new wallet
sports attire
to be happy
volkswagen beatle
watches
zippo

angela yang aka 杨老师
dashimon
eionn aka donkey
eionn aka donkey shop
felicia aka xiaolaopo
jasmine
liling aka doudou
michelle aka mic
michelle
pauline aka porpor
pearline
qingwen aka wen meimei
shanling
wanxuan aka xuan
weiqi aka vicky